problems and challenges

At the St. Francis House tonight, on University ave, there was a talk on Buddhism, given by senior Kadampa teacher, Gen-la Dekyong. I thought it'd be an interesting followup to last week's talk at the Unitarian Meeting house by Claude Anshin Thomas, so I went. A basic premise I heard over and over was, "If we knew how to solve human problems, we would solve them, right?" --Wrong. I love problems. Problems make me human, and let me revel in my humanness. I happen to like being human, for the most part, and while the human problems of life, love, and happiness often fully engage us to the extent that we become troubled, I think that's generally okay. She also related (and I agree) that "Problems exist in our mind." This is a matter of attitude. If I don't think that something is a problem, then for me, it's not a problem. For example, I spend so much of my life thinking and reading, and studying issues that I don't have time to watch football. This would be a big problem for some folks, but since I'm not a football fan, it's not a problem for me. I'm a much bigger fan of thinking, so instead of being a problem, it's a blessing. Here's another problem I like to live with: I'm 38 and single. "Yikes!" you may say, but for me this much less of a problem than being 38 and divorced, co-raising kids with a woman who hates me, and children who hate us both. It may also be a better problem than being together with kids, unable to give them the life I'd like to. I am quite happy moving through life as I am, open to meeting a thoughtful, slightly crazy, but good-hearted woman. At that point, the path changes, and I get to engage with a different set of problems.

I suppose I should call problems that I enjoy "challenges" -- I generally enjoy the challenges of life, of love, and of happiness. I engage in them with a certain level of gusto and curiosity, and I live them. When I grow tired of engaging with a problem, I solve it. Often, the "solution" is merely a matter of reframing it as something I need to live with -- aging is an example. It's not a problem, it's a system/structure to live within. If I don't want to deal with a problem, I don't, and then they are no longer problems.

To say that problems are bad? Hmm... I disagree. It sort of goes against the basic premise of research, that change is good, that problems help us grow. Let's look at the idea of the "calm ocean" that she promoted as a model of mind -- do we really want a limpid pool of algae-friendly stillness? Not me. I like wind and waves; give me movement in my water. Give me a river of life with difficult rapids, eddys of reprise, slick quickwater, and sleepy wide bends. Are they problems or challenges? The choice is mine. Sometimes they're both.